*****

An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, jeans,
ten gallon hat, spurs, and chaps was sitting
in a bar sipping his whiskey when a beautiful young woman
walked in and sat down next to him.
After a few minutes she turned to the cowboy and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy"?

"Well," he replied, "I've spent my whole life
on the ranch, herding cattle, breaking horses,
mending fences and such, so I reckon I am."

After a short time he turned to the young woman
and asked, "What're you, young lady?"

"I've never been on a ranch", she replied,
"so I'm certainly no cowboy. I'm a lesbian",
she went on. "I've spent my whole life thinking about
other women. As soon as I get up in the
morning I start to think of women. When I eat I think of women.
When I shower I think of women.
When I watch TV I think of women.
When I sleep I dream of women.
Everything seems to make me think of women."
A short time later the young woman left
and an older couple came in and sat down next to the
cowboy. In a few minutes they turned to the cowboy
and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought that I was,
but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"

*********

An elder butler of the emperor (A castrated
man working for the emperor) saw Mr. Ji wearing
leather jacket and holding a fan (A custom of scholars).
The butler says to Mr. Ji : "Little scholar,
wear leather, hold summer fan, have you read
the book Spring and Autumn?"

Mr. Ji hears the butler's southern accent
and replies: " Old butler, born in the South,
Comes to North, is that thing still with you?"

On another day, Mr. Ji is out walking with friends,
he says to his friends that he can make the woman,
the owner of a restaurant, laugh with one sentence
and then makes her angry with another sentence.
They don't believe him, so they
put the bet on a table of banquet.

Mr. Ji then walks to doorway of the store and towards
the watch dog in front of the store and says:
"Dad!" ; The woman paused a moment, and then
covers her mouth and laughs. Mr. Ji then walks
towards her and also towards the woman
and says :" Mom!" ......

Therefore, he wins a table of banquet.

*********

An old maiden needs a well draft by a lawyer.
she said: "I have 1 million dollar, I'm planning to spend
800 thousand on my burial. When I was alive,
nobody cared for me, after I died, I want everone in the
town to see my expensive burial."
Lawyer asked: "What to do with the remainder 200 thousand?"
She replied: "Nobody loved me, I want to spend it on a
romantic experience in bed....!"
After the lawyer returned home and talked to his wife about
the burial, his wife encouraged him to voulunteer for the
200 thousand dollar.
Next day, they drove to the old maiden's house. The lawyer
gets off and told his wife to come pick him up in 2 hours...
Two hours later, she waited in the car for a long time, but
he still does'nt appear, so she honks on the phone. Later,
he stuck his head out of a window in the house and said:
"Come get me in 4 days, she decided to have a economical
burial instead...."